As you graduate from high school and head off to university you may feel as if you are finally growing up and getting closer to full adulthood. For those moving away from home and heading off to their college town, the feeling of independence and new found freedom may be even more pronounced. Yet as you mature and become a more responsible and self-dependent young adult, the truth is you may likely still be dependent on your parents for various forms of support and guidance. As such you can still expect your parents to routinely check up on you and ask questions regarding your life in university.
Why Parents May Feel the Need to Intrude
Even though you will likely experience much more freedom and independence upon entering university, the reality is that you will still in many ways depend on your parents for help. If your parents are helping you with tuition and housing during your four years of studies, and giving you a free place to stay in the summer, it is not unreasonable that they expect some sort of return on their investment by seeing you succeed. Even in the case that you have gained full financial independence by the time you enter university, it is still perfectly natural for your closest family members and guardians to want to look out for you and check up every now and then. Thus it is important to be understanding about their concerns and not default to viewing their questions as overly intrusive.
Common Concerns You May Expect from Your Parents
Concerns over Performance and Grade Drops
One of the most common concerns that your parents might exhibit when you enter university revolves around your academic performance. As mentioned before, this may arise out of a sense of wanting to see a return on their investment (the time and resources that they have committed to you going to university). Yet a more likely cause for concern are issuess that you may be experiencing with your grades as you struggle to adjust to the new university system in your early years. If this is the case, you could refer them to our article on the 5 Common Reasons for the First Year Grade Drop to help them understand what you are going through.
Concerns about Adjusting to Your New Environment
Another common cause for concern from your parents regards your adjustment to your new environment in university. Going to university often means moving away from your friends and having to establish relationships with new people. It also means breaking away from the environment that you have grown comfortable with and having to adjust to a new setting. This disruption can at times be quite stressful as different students’ experiences with their new lives in university can vary considerably. As such you may find you parents occasionally asking questions about how you are adapting to the university lifestyle. In this case it is best to be honest and seek help whenever you feel overwhelmed.
Practical Concerns about Your Day-To-Day Affairs
Going to university often means living on your own for the first time. If this is the case then you might have to deal with an array of issue such as learning to cook for yourself, doing laundry, cleaning your living quarters, and paying your bills. As you may not have been used to performing many of these tasks on a regular basis, it would make sense that your parents exhibit a moderate degree of concern regarding your day-to-day activities. Yet in this instance it might be you who is the one often asking the questions.
Learning to Establish New Boundaries
One of the most important steps to becoming an adult is learning to establish new boundaries with your parents and learning to foster a healthy and respectful relationship with them as you mature. It is important to recognize that while your parents concerns may at times seem excessive, they usually mean well. The best course of action is to be as honest as possible about what your expectations are, and to maintain healthy and open communication.